It’s March 1, 2016. And the journey has begun…well re-begun.
What the heck? You started over? What are you talking about, Holly? You see, I have spent the last nearly 6 years focused on a weightloss & fitness journey, I have shared most of my steps along the way, but something happened.
I took the month of February off from my fitness & health journey, sort of. I typically workout 5-6 days per week for myself, I had committed to 60 days of Hammer and Chisel Beachbody Challenge (over 25k people had made this commitment). I also typically teach 4-8 60min fitness classes per week. I had made a vow to exercise in some form for #365 in 2016. As i stacked these goals…it seemed like no problem. I love exercise, I love the feeling when I’m done, I’m nicer, more creative, more energetic…all of which I truly believe! But at day 28 I hit the wall. It had started before that but on Jan 28…I cried bc I no longer enjoyed working out. It had become a chore, an assignment, a requirement…and I hated it. Prior to this, I would find excuses to workout, it was my procrastination destination, it was my “meeting” when I knew I just wanted a drink. It was my retreat, my joy, my mood booster…until January 28! On this day, I felt like a fraud. I felt I wasnt living my life, I wasnt honoring ME.
I realized I was forcing myself to meet some ridiculous goal. A goal, I had been inspired by another fitness professional to accomplish, if she could do it…then I could to. But why? Why is always the question for me! Why? I wanted to inspire others to make a daily commitment to themselves, to find joy in moving their body. But I was hating it…if I was hating it, then how can I expect others to do it? Good question, huh?
I was committed to feeling better but was my health improving? I certainly didn’t (don’t) look like it. I had other accomplishments…I was getting so strong, I was a smaller more compact version of myself, I was seeing some muscle definition, I had endurance & stamina, but I wasn’t having ANY scale victories. I know the scale isn’t everything, but it certainly is something. I have spent about 1 yr plateaued at 196/7lbs, I’ve been up & down 10-15lbs, over the past 2-3yrs. And I’ve realized I have been hurting myself, my refusal to completely change my eating habits wasn’t working. My body was accustomed to the activities I was doing. I was also suffering from sleep deprivation, adrenal fatigue & quite possibly hypothyroidism. So my body was working against me. My hormones are out of whack, my diet & cravings have been all over the place, I under eat more often than not. I was suffering and I needed to change!
SO I MADE IT! I made an executive decision…
I made a drastic change! I STOPPED what I was doing.REALLY? Yep, I had been doing research that was saying, that the minute people started focus on losing weight & being active was the same minute that obesity began to rise. So, I stopped focusing. I was aware of what I was eating, but I wasn’t restricting myself. I started paying attention to my body. I started eating only when I was hungry, I kept track of how my body reacted to the food/foods I seemed to crave…many times, I found myself with an upset stomach or a need for a nap. I started to notice what caused bloating & gas. I thought about how many vegetables I was consuming…was I eating enough (or any). And where did those foods fall into creating energy for me (macros vs calories). I learned a lot by stopping.
And today, was the day I started over…I made the choice to make a lifestyle change. Today was the first day to be true to me, to create my own path, not follow in the shadows of others. Which also required me to really look at myself. Like really look in the mirror at myself…truth is, I dont like what I see. I know that what I was doing wasnt serving me. I know even better now that my exercise program and development is only part of the equation. I have to give more attention to properly fueling my body so it can build the muscle so I can see the results I am working toward.
Wont you join me for my journey? I have decided to go back to one of my favorite workouts ever…Chalean Extreme. I am going to lift heavy at least 3 days per week, I am going to do a cardio strength interval workout at least 2 days per week, Im going to give myself permission to take at least 1 no more than 2 rest days. I am going to increase my food intake and Im going to eat more vegetables than anything else. I will increase my proteins to health lean meats, grassfed & organic. I will focus on eating healthy fats…avocado, coconut oil, grass fed butter. I will reduce my carbs to non starchy vegtables and Ill avoid breads, pasta and processed sugars.
And the journey goes on…